Well I am 14 years old before anyone says anything and I'm really unconfident in my riding abiltiy:/
today I had a lesson with 3 other people and it was a jumping lesson.
The lesson was going horribly my horse was bucking me (and he never bucks) and kept refusing to go over a jump because of my riding, I was getting really upset by this point, cause we kept crashing through jumps and my horse kept refusing and my horse is a very good jumper and only refuses when I'm riding badly and I know I was riding badly.
So then we went over one jump fine and I felt it was unfair to the others for me to carry on riding so I said to my instructor 'Can I stop jumping there please because that went well?'
and then she had a huge go at me about how i was being pathetic, dramatic and that I'm letting my horse down and that if any of the other people got on him he would be jumping everything fine and that I was just pissing her off. I then started crying because I really don't feel like I'm improving and I don't feel she is helping me as the jumps were 2ft3 and in a lesson last week with a different instructor I did a 2ft9 course fine. My instructor hasn't really apoligised and I was in floods of tears and I am one of the people that never cry.
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My parents were thinking of saying something but I don't know is it okay for her to say this to me or isn't it? Do you think I should apologise to her?
The problem is that nobody can teach anyone to be confident, that has to come from you.
So, I think your teacher had a moment of frustration in what was happening and she snapped at you.
IF she doesn't usually do that and she usually is more patient, then she might of just had a slight melt down.
IF she always seems tough, then that's just how she is and you're going to have to grow a tough skin or forget about taking lessons from her.
Don't use the excuse that you are only 14. That's a cop-out. You're old enough to take harsh criticism and toughen up against it instead of falling to pieces. If you were 8 years old, yeah, I'd say she was way out of line. But you're a teenager and in four more years, you'll be an adult.
This is actually a good lesson for you ... if you bother to see as such .... and learn from it .... there will be harsh people in your life and they will not care about your feelings .... so, you'll have to decide whether or not you're going to let yourself fall apart or just let their words slide off your back and decide to try your best to please yourself (not to please her or anyone else).
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If you don't feel like you are improving and you had a better lesson with another instructor .... then that's a good reason to go back to that other one and dump this one.
Don't wait for an apology, because if she would of felt bad about what she said, she'd of already apologized by now. So, ... Let It Go.
Your parents shouldn't say anything to her about this, because it wasn't harsh enough to merit them getting involved. If she would of sworn at you, then yes, they need to step in. If she would of berrated you and was verbally abusive, then yes, they should step in.
But really ... she said you were being pathetic and dramatic and basically, that you weren't trying hard enough ...... sounds like she thinks you have more talent than you give yourself credit for. And that made her mad .
And NO ... you shouldn't apologize either! Man, that would really show a gutless aprpoach.
Simply .... learn from the experience, try your best not to let your emotions get you tangled up when you ride (that's why your horse was so "bad ")....... and just see it as a fun thing. Because you're not going to try out for the olympics, right? You're jumping for FUN.
My instructor did the same thing when I was younger and it made me a much better rider. If your instructor isn't making you challenge yourself then they aren't doing a good job. I very much doubt she "had a huge go at you", she probably just said that you were well capable of continuing which by your other comments would appear to be true.
it is a bit over the top, i wouldn't wait for your instructor to apologies i would simply find a new one that will encourage you and help you to ride that bit better and get you over those jumps . well cheer up i am sure with a new instructor and practice you will be a more confident rider, every one gains their confidence in their own time. god luck
She had no right to say those things to you. I would switch trainers. Sounds like she's just taking your money if she's not being helpful.
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Plus if you need a confidence boost take some private lessons. In group lessons the time is divided up so much your only getting 1/4 of the attention and paying full price. I would never take a lesson with more than one other rider.
Discriminating your riding ability is mean, no doubt. Some English riding instructors are 'strict' and mean, etc. I wouldn't go back to that barn, riding should be fun, not a chore or if you dont enjoy it! :}
