Ok in a month, we're having our annual showjumping competition at my riding school. It consists of three rounds - 1 of them being a 'jump-off'. Last year, i came 1st out of about 30 people - 2/3s of them being adults (I was 14 years old at the time). That height was about 90''s.
Anyway, earlier this year i had a major confidence knock. I regained confidence in myself until recently. Over the past couple of months that self-belief and confidence has disappeared once again: S I'm starting to become nervous at the smallest things and immediately start to doubt myself. Everyone in the yard, including the various instructors, keep saying things like''going to make a double win?'',''is this year gonna be as good as last?'',''gonna try and get two in a row?''. My instructor was the worst of them all. I knew when i won, she was soo, unbelievably proud and she made no effort in hiding it. She taught me for the first few years ( I began riding six years ago) but she stopped teaching until last year. Anyway, i confided in her a couple of weeks ago explaining the confidence and nerves issue i'm having at the moment so she's taking things slow with me right now.
pets question and answers,www.5d2d.com I have to make a decision in the next week or so whether i'm going to participate in the competition or not. I've analysed it thoroughly. As i'm beginning to dislike riding and focus on the more serious, competitive side of things, i know that i'm going to become waaay to competitive if i do decide to take part. I always ride worse when i get myself too worked up. And seeing as i'm hard on myself and beat myself up over the smallest things, if i don't come first, i know that i'll be crushed. I'll become so annoyed and upset with myself and whatever confidence im trying to regain will just be shattered to pieces. But then again, if i do well, it'll just give me the boost that i desperately need!
So what should i do?: (
Man, this is a really tough decision. It is one that I cannot make, or anyone out there but you. I am amazed that you won 1st out of 30 places when you were 14 . You sound like an Olympic rider! I understand that you have had a serious confidence break recently. To decide if you want to go is entirely up to you. No one will kill you if you say no! I would rather not have you go if you have the slightest doubt in yourself. If you do, do not be ashamed. Everyone, including me, have had to say no to things they dream about winning. We had to say no because we were not ready at the time. ( Its just that we don't admit it). If you truly want to go and believe 100 +% that you will totally have a great time, go for it. If you don't, just take it easy. Try to go for some smaller competitions within your comfort zone. Ride a horse you trust for a month or to. Find an instructor you trust who has experienced the same thing you did, and knows how to build confidence without inflicting pride. I hope my advice helps and good luck!
I had a situation a few weeks ago weather I would do the dressage clinic at my old barn or not, and one of the instructors and I were texting about it, and she told me that, "It's better to risk falling than to spend the rest of your life wondering 'What If ...?'" I took her advice and did the clinic-and my pony and I came SO far that weekend!!:)
pets question and answers,www.5d2d.com
But remember: Always follow your gut! If I were you, I would say yes to the show and see how you feel the day-of. If you don't feel ready or nervous at all, then don't do it. If you're calm and collected, go ahead and try. Any improvement is a victory, a ribbon is just a piece of material. You dont need a ribbon to have a * personal * victory over fear and inhibitions!:)
I would take it slow. Build up your confidence and ride to have fun. Not to win a competition. If this competition with push you to loose your love of riding, don't do it. Its obvious (to me) that you need some more time to regroup and work on becoming more confident again. Pushing yourself to do this show will only make it harder. Just have fun with your horse and ride in a more relaxed manner for a little while, then work on competing once you feel more ready. I wouldn't compete again at the same level as you did before until you don't have to ask anyone if you should compete. If you want to keep showing, start at a lower level and work you way up.
