Hi everyone....pls help, I'm going stir crazy!

In March of this year, I got two new kittens. A pedigree Ragdoll, and a 'sister' for him, a little rescue tabby.
Having homed strays and adopted rescue cats before, I felt I was doing my bit by homing her (as opposed to getting a 2nd pedigree), and giving her a 'second chance'.

I KNOW it's only been two months..but the little girl is breaking my heart...I just CANNOT bond with her. Her history was that she was previously homed (adopted as a tiny kitten, then returned, apparently because owners couldn't cope with her/realised they didn't want a cat, etc...) I then came in, and got her at 6months of age.....

Having done everything I can, eg. using Feliway products, following behavioural advice on the Feline Advisory Bureau website etc.....I just cannot help feeling let down and cheated by this little mog. pets question and answers,www.5d2d.com

How long is a fair time to allow her to come out of her shell? 6 months, a year? Because it honestly is like I don't have a 2nd cat.

She only eats, plays with her brother ( way out of arms reach of us) and uses her tray. No interaction with us whatsoever. And when we can approach her, she scurries away under the bed, or cowers in fear... If we do manage to hold her...God, the panic to escape!!! Is this why she was returned? I think she either had zero human interaction in her early days, or she was hit....badly, and often. On an hourly basis, I try remind myself of this, and sympathise with her....but also, just looking at her, fills me with resentment, and I want to give her back.......

I know rescue cats often do come round, but if I'm very honest, I don't know if I have the energy, patience and time, that I once did. My little Ragdoll brings me such incredible joy, and I question whether or not I should sacrifice MY sanity &happiness to accomodate a cat with evident mental health issues. I know this sounds harsh, and I apologise...but it's honestly how I feel. Thinking about it brings me to tears... :) pets question and answers,www.5d2d.com

All I've ever wanted was two, really chilled, happy babies that would love their momma....and we'd all be content. I thought I could have that by getting them as kittens (I previously had adopted an 11yr old rescue mog...who had a horrific past...and he came round quicker than my little girl is now!!)

I really don't know what to do, and would appreciate your thoughts. No snide comments either please...as this, as I've said, is causing me some anguish... Thanks so much ;)

First of all, she is a cat. Cats can be warm, or they can be skittish. I say give her a year to warm up to her caretakers. She is so young. You can hardly expect her to bond after only two months, and being under a year old.

Think about the cat, and what it would do to her, to uproot her from her 'brother' and the new home she is in. Another change (i.e. if you moved, or if she was placed back in the rescue) would just set the cat back even further. She would eventually be adopted by a new family, and it would probably take her even longer to bond with a new care taker.

Unless your lifestyle is not working with her, if you are a very active household, or rambunctious person, she may need a quieter environment. Or the cat may get used to it.

Please give your cat some more time before giving her back to the rescue. Patience and love will help her in the long run.

just wait a little bit longer. Don't pick her up, just approach her slowly and start to pet her a bit, show her you're not a threat. I don't know how long it'll take her to come around, but try giving her a treat everytime she allows you to spend any qualitie time with her no matter how short. Don't rush things, she'll come around eventually. Just be patient and try not to go insane.

experience

I like that you decided to rescue a moggie kitten instead of getting another purebred cat. Be advised that some cats NEVER come out of their shell and the effort it takes to get them to do this is often too stressful and can only be done by professionals. Your mistake might have been owning another cat. Depending on her past, that may have caused her to buddy up with the other cat and not need or desire human attention. This can be the cause especially if humans were mean to her in the past. There is a male cat at our vets office, huge as can be that bites anyone that even looks like they're going to touch him. They simply don't touch him or try to hold him. He is there because no one wanted him and the local shelter was going to euthanize him. By approaching her, you are scaring her and this causes her anguish and fear. No one wants their cat to be afraid of them. Let her be happy with her little cat friend, and try to deal wit the fact that she may never be people friendly. I've seen it happen before, sometimes it cannot be done. Please try not to get rid of her, I know it will be hard if she doesn't come around. But give her away and that will most likely be the end of her. I'm sure you've asked the vet etc. about what to do and I saw you followed advice. Try and keep following the advice and wait it out. I hope she comes around, but she may not. Try and be patient and keep your head up! Good luck!